DAILY REFLECTIONS: Wednesday, May 6, 2012

May 16, 2012 By Leave a Comment

WE FORGIVE

Often it was while working on this Step with our sponsors or spiritual advisers that we first felt truly able to forgive others, no matter how deeply we felt they had wronged us.  Our moral inventory had persuaded us that all-round forgiveness was desirable, but it was only when we resolutely tackled Step Five that we inwardly knew we’d be able to receive forgiveness and give it, too.

TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, pp. 58

I’ve had several opportunities to forgive people early in my life that “wronged me” horribly, and I must say it was freeing to be able to step out of anger and resentment and into peace.  It was freeing to be able to do that on my own timetable, at my own pace, when I was good and ready to not feel miserable any more.  It didn’t have anything to do with the other person, or whether or not they “deserved” my forgiveness, it was work I had to do in myself.

Later, I got the opportunity to forgive myself of all the wrongs that could not be undone, that could never be fully righted, or even fully acknowledged.  It took me almost 20 years of being with the same person to finally admit I was with them for the wrong reason, for selfish reasons, and to forgive myself and let him go.  That’s a big fat long wrong that could take me a lifetime to get over, but I’m choosing the easier softer way of forgiveness.

MY PRAYER FOR TODAY: I am willing to see where I need to forgive, where my part in situations has fallen short.  Please show me how to start, please help me with willingness and honesty.

* The Daily Reflections is a book of reflections by A.A. members for A.A. members.  The Title and quote for each day is taken directly from this publication, but the thoughts and prayers are of this author.
Filed Under: Laugh Today

DAILY REFLECTIONS: Tuesday, May 15, 2012

May 15, 2012 By Leave a Comment

KNOW GOD; KNOW PEACE

It is plain that a life which includes deep resentment leads only to futility and unhappiness…  But with the alcoholic , whose hope is the maintenance and growth of a spiritual experience, this business of resentment is infinitely grave.

ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, pp. 66

Resentment is the number one offender for us, and the ease with which we can find ourselves mired in it is amazing at times.  I’ve often wondered about this, and have come to the conclusion that just like we have an “allergy” to alcohol (that is, our brains and bodies respond differently than the normal person) our brains are hard-wired towards resentment.  It’s not necessarily our fault, we are just prone to it.

What is our responsibility, however, is to keep it in check by working closely with a sponsor and keeping our relationship with our Higher Power strong.  It is through reliance upon a higher power that I am able to work through (not drink over) my feelings and learn to let go.  Acceptance, release, and more acceptance are what help me move past my resentments.

PRAYER FOR TODAY: I ask my Higher Power to relieve me of the bondage of self-will, that I learn to trust him to correct the injustices of the world.  Not as I would correct them, for my ways are finite and judgmental, but in his way that is infinitely loving and kind.

* The Daily Reflections is a book of reflections by A.A. members for A.A. members.  The Title and quote for each day is taken directly from this publication, but the thoughts and prayers are of this author.
Filed Under: Daily Reflections

Daily Reflections: Monday, May 14, 2012

May 14, 2012 By Leave a Comment

IT’S OKAY TO BE ME

Time after time newcomers have tried to keep to themselves certain facts about their lives…they have turned to easier methods…But they had not learned enough humility…

ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, pp. 72-73

I got really good at avoiding who I really am inside.  Why I did it is no great mystery: lack of acceptance.  Because what I found inside was in such contrast with what I thought I should be, or how I thought I should act, or what I thought I should do, I could not rectify it and so tried to drink away my predicament.

It worked for a while; but then it didn’t and I got sober.  Something had to change – either what I found inside, or what outside forces I allowed to influence me.  Through working the 12 steps, I decided that working with a sponsor, reevaluating what God wants for me (and it isn’t a strict set of rules and regulations, but rather for me to be happy, joyous, and free), and accepting who I really am at the core has proved the right path.  The easier path, it turns out, tends to be laid with truth and forgiveness.

PRAYER FOR TODAY: My Creator, help me see that what you have made in me is a beautiful thing to be accepted, appreciated, and shared.  Help me see how I need to share with others what is going on inside me, and where my defects can be of usefulness to others.  May I be okay with your creation, with myself.

* The Daily Reflections is a book of reflections by A.A. members for A.A. members.  The Title and quote for each day is taken directly from this publication, but the thoughts and prayers are of this author.
Filed Under: Daily Reflections

Life Lessons: Just Right, Just in Time

February 21, 2012 By Leave a Comment

I had a meeting scheduled on Monday morning with The soon-but-cannot-be-soon-enough Ex and both lawyers to discuss a few final points for our paperwork.  It was going to be tense, full of disagreement (hense spending all the money on lawyers!) and ripe for a big knock down drag out fight.  I was nervous, anxious, and fearful of (mainly) what I might say.

The night before, I attended my Home Group AA meeting and the topic was prayer.  More specifically, how and when to remember certain prayers that might be helpful in our daily lives.  Many people shared good short ones we can all use (like The Serenity Prayer, or simply “Thy will, not my will, be done”).  One that stood out for me was brought up:

And we have ceased fighting anything or anyone – even alcohol.
A. A. Big Book, page 84

And later that night while texting with another good friend (who quotes the BB to me like no one else!) had several really good quotes for me to consider.  The one that stood out among those was:

Argument and fault-finding are to be avoided like the plague.
A. A. Big Book, page 98

So, Monday morning came, and after having been up half the night (literally), running/walking 4 miles at 6:00AM, and praying NON-STOP for God’s guidance on my words and actions, we had our meeting.  I felt serene and calm on the drive in.  The meeting was relatively peaceful, with relatively little fault-finding (it’s about progress, not perfection I remind myself!).  I actually wrote those two prayers on the bottom of my note paper and every few minutes looked at them and recited them in my head. The Ex’s neck was about 15 shades of red; I think The Ex believed I’d react a certain way, and when I didn’t they were not prepared to respond any other way and were taken aback.  It was priceless!

Later that evening, I attended a course I’m taking at my church (The Alpha Course).  Guess what the topic was?  Prayer.  I felt it was God’s confirmation that I need to hear what to do before my big meeting, do it, and then share with others the power of prayer and how it can tame even the sharpest tongue and quiet even the most tangled nerves.  So powerful, so helpful to me in my daily life.

Filed Under: Into Action

What Does God Want for Me?

February 13, 2012 By Leave a Comment

This is a question I have pondered over, and over, and over these past few months and years.  Without going into too much detail, my 16 1/2 yr marriage is ending soon, at my request.  It’s been the most difficult decision, the most difficult pain to walk through but I know God is with me.

There is a line in The Big Book (Alcoholics Anonymous) on page 133 that states:

We are sure God wants us to be happy, joyous, and free.

I did a word-by-word breakdown of what this sentence means to me, and came up with the following lengthy rewording of the above sentence:

I am positive, knowing without a doubt and have complete faith that God, the Creator of the Universe, the Beginning & End, All that there is, was and ever will be, desires for me, hopes for me, makes available to me if I accept it the gifts of:

1. Happiness: being emotionally uplifted and on a higher plane; not sad, not neutral, not passive, not empty

2. Joy: outwardly ecstatic, audibly happy, obvious to others at my elation

3. Freedom: unbound by restraints of self or from other outside forces; available for His use, for His purpose and His plans

So, what does it mean to you?  What does God want you to be?  I’m not asking what He wants you to do, or how to act, or what to think or say or any other action, but just what does He want you to be?  (For the brave commenters, think “I am sure God wants me to be…” and fill in the blank.)

Filed Under: God Tagged With: , ,
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